Keeping up with the rapidly changing Toronto housing market can be a real chore. Here’s a digest on the latest and most exciting developments.
The Daniel’s Fractal Building, featuring infinitely nested units, will have begun accepting applications last year. Applicants are encouraged to have already always been applying. Construction is not and has always been ongoing, and is expected to have been completed always, or in March of 2022. Whichever is first.
Alterra’s new development concept, opening to new investors in 2022, is a unique take on the problem of facadism. For a nominal fee, new investors can move directly into the homes and lives of displaced service workers and artists! Included in the package will be the full suite of authentic economic experiences, legitimate cultural integration, and all the friends of your displaced flesh-host, puppeted about on strings. Penthouse applications will have the word “gentrification” eternal-sunshined out of their brain.
Great Gulf has instituted a policy change at their 357 King West location. Starting in February of 2021, the pet policy will be expanded to allow residents to keep up to three human beings as pets. Damage and cleanup deposits still apply.
Westbank’s new development places will place investors right in the heart of already-thriving communities. Well, right above them. Their proprietary glass-bottom concept allows them to build right on top of communities rather than displacing them! You’ll be right at home in legacy communities with their long-term residents, who have been carefully and persuasively instructed not to look at or address you.
Tridel’s Klein Condo has been cancelled after it was determined to be thermodynamically impossible to heat a building whose interior was its exterior. Early investors will be refunded their deposits.
Pinnacle International’s 2023 Village building will begin construction next month. To save money for investors, the design will eschew traditional units. In place, the building will be 30 floors of solid concrete. Lakeshore location, local to schools and grocery.
Non-resident entrants to Forest Hill will now be shot on sight.
Crud Meridian 